Quotes

• When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend.
-- Detritus learns about weapons safety (Night Watch)

• People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."
-- Carrot travels to Ankh-Morpork (Guards! Guards!)

• Cuddy had only been a guard for a few days, but already he had absorbed one important and basic fact: it is almost impossible for anyone to be in a street without breaking the law.
-- (Men at Arms)

• - It could be a torture chamber or a dungeon or a hideous pit or anything!
- It's just a student's bedroom, sergeant.
- You see?
-- (Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms)

• No one knows how to do officering, Fred. That's why they're officers. If they'd knew anything, they'd be sergeants. -- (Guards! Guards!)

graphics by Josh Kidby